One small chug over the Channel, one giant leap into British gastronomy. This is what we encountered as soon as we alit from the raft as we like to call our means of cheap & cheerful transportation. Heading towards the romantic town named after ablutions, ie Bath, we had our pit stop in the most highly reknowned eating place – this side of Tokyo – LITTLE CHEF where the high point on the menu was the “LOADED ROLL” – ie think of anything you could possibly want at breafast, shove it in a roll and bob’s your uncle -and if any of you are thinking of sending off an application form, women without moustaches or beer bellies needn’t bother, you don’t stand a snwoballs chance in hell. Nick (my brother), Dad and myself went for the “Amy Winehouse” breakfast special called “Early Starter”, not to be confused with educational toys for toddlers, which consists of a large plate of exceptional culinary delights : Eggs, Bacon, Bangers, Toast, hash browns & the most delightful heinz baked beans. To be honest this is totally what we needed to fuel up, a nice greasy start to the day. In other words, a breakfast for men with hair on their chest. ugh!

Let me tell about you our trip over the most frequented strech of H2O on earth, The Channel. We departed from Ouistreham near Caen on Friday night, seconds before midnight. Our raft, was then invaded with healthy looking truck drivers drowning their kilometres in a few pints of beer. All of them cheering to the cheesy DJ set. Thankfully, we had booked a supersized bridal suite on seven deck with a magnificient view of a dirty porthole. After a few pints and a gin & tonic in “Derby” bar, we decided to dunk for the bunks. Morning strikes through our salt-stained window with a horrible tune that wakes us up in time for disembarking. We then headed towards Salisbury (not the same Salisbury as in the Peter Gabriel song) and its wonderful roadside troughing attractions (I’ll avoid describing the neighboring customers…)

As my pithy words go to press, we’re about to invade the ablutions town named Bath where my aunty Caroline dwells. After that, our journey will continue into the dreaded moutains & vales of Mordor, ooops I mean’t Wales. This celtic country is known for it’s highway dwarf pirates and slutty fairies trying to mugg you as you stop at crossroads. No to mention the pickpocketing mountain trolls near Builth Wells…

Granny will be waiting for us in Llandre, near Aberystyth, waving at us as we enter the extensive lands that she owns just like Queen Betty as she welcomes Prince Charles to the Buckingham hovel. I will be posting pictures and maybe, if you’re good, videos. But for that I need a decent internet connexion. And this is the greatest challenge we will have to face as we’re heading to Wales. Everybody knows that Welsh people have many things to show off, such as sheep, little shacky pubs, beautiful countryside, but as far as internet goes, it’s like looking for the Holy Grail.

As far as Emirates goes, I haven’t received any news from them since I sent the updated medical handbook to them, and that was like 3 or 4 weeks ago. But I’m expecting a call sometime next week. I also realised that I forgot to do some portrait pictures for their filing. So I’ll have to dash over to the photoprint shop and get a couple shots done. I also need some written references. I’m getting more and more excited about the whole thing. And the waiting is getting harder as the days draw by. Moved all my stuff from the flatshare and someone has already moved back in, assuring me the guaranty back, something like 800 euros, to cash in. Not bad. Will have enough money to spend for the first 2 months in Dubai.

I’m also planning on having some farewell party in the heart & vibrant part of my hometown. As Alethea is leaving Paris for the UK in March too, we decided to do a joint venture and have some friends round a “yet-to-be-determined” restaurant. And then carry on to one of our favourite watering holes in the heart of Paris. Will most definately be a pub of some sort. Should be fun.