Dark Light

Queues are a French national sport, invented by the French Bureaucracy, or at least that’s what we French tend to proclaim. Any French institution has it’s queues, and you will most likely wait, wait for so long you could top yourself three to four times, and that’s not being generous. Anyways, these queuing in France is a torture for you and you want help ? No problem, Le Buffet Playlist (the only French institution where queues are non-existent) & Sodwee joined forces in their respective fields of expertise to help you through this moment with great music. The waiting game you will now very much look forward to because of great music. All hail French Bureaucracy.

LE BUFFET PLAYLIST

a playlist for every moment in your life

Les files d’attentes, voila une invention brevetée par l’administration française. Quoique tu fasses il te faudra, de toute manière, attendre une bonne heure pour obtenir ton numero de secu, refaire un passeport (pour te rendre compte que tu n’as pas les bons papiers), ou recharger une carte de metro. Bref ce moment est un supplice pour toi et tu ne sais pas comment t’en sortir ? Aucun soucis Sodwee et Lebuffetplaylist se sont mis en partenariat pour t’aider à resoudre cette situation en musique. Faute de pouvoir contourner le système, cette heure d’attente devidendra ton rendez vous quotidien préféré, vive l’administration française.

Files d’attentes by Le Buffet Playlist on Grooveshark

Stealers Wheel – Stuck in the Middle With You

La base. D’ou le thème m’est venu. Etre coince avec des inconnus dans une file d’attente comme on sait si bien le faire en France.

That’s the track that launched this endeavor. “Being stuck in the middle with other strangers” as I pictured. And this track would fit wonderfully in a queue setting as we all know it…

Deceptikon – Dissolving In Acid

Pour affronter la foule, y’a rien de mieux. Et le BIG BOSS de fin se nomme Sandrine.

To conquer huge crowds, there’s nothing quite like this little diamond track. And to fight the big boss (in the name of sweaty Betty, who’s manning the counter at your local post office, job center or worse yet : DHSS). 

Poulation Density – Breton

La “foule” oui, car du monde il y en a comme tu pouvais t’en douter, mais la queue avance à une vitesse ahurissante, tu te mets déjà à regarder tes compères derrière toi et tu leur répète cette phrase “There Is Hope For Us”, tout devrait bien se passer finalement. Jusqu’à ce que tu comprenne que tu es dans la mauvaise file. Shiiiit :

Yes, there’s plenty of people around, it wasn’t a surprise. But what infuriates you the most is the speed at which it painfully goes. You start mumbling a few words while listening to that track : “There Is Hope For Us”. Everything should go fine in the end. Until you realize you’re in the bloody WRONG line, and that’s when Senator Clay Davis cue moment : Shhiiiiiiiit :

Cee Lo Green – Fuck You

Quand un(e) ingrat(e) tente de couper la file sans vergogne. Que toute la file se regarde étonnée et rale en coeur…FUCK YOU ouh ouh ouh !

When a chavette tries her luck at queue jumping without remorse, and the whole procession starts singing in unison : “FUCK YOU ouh ouh ouh !”

Look At Where We Are – Hot Chip

Tu commences à trouver le temps long et tu es vraiment désespéré, tu cherches la guichetière du regard et lui susurre ces mots doux, en espérant qu’elle reponde à ton appel “Would You Call My Name ? Look At where we are, remember where we started out…” sauve moi Sandrine (oui la guichetière s’appelle Sandrine).

You start fidgeting, you’re desperate and you try to lock eyes with Sweaty Betty to whisper sweet nothings like “Would You Call My Name ? Look At where we are, remember where we started out…” save me from this hell-hole Sweaty Betty (yes that’s her Good Name).

Lescop – La Forêt

Le genre de chanson qui passe très bien dans une file d’attente de la sécurité sociale : Suicidaire. Que le mois de décembre bat sont plein, qu’il est 15h30 et qu’il fait déjà nuit… enfin tu vois le topo.

The kind of suicidal song you play when all else fails. When it’s mid-December and the sun disappears at 3pm. And you’re still there queuing.

Mark Mothersbaugh – Ping Island/Lightning Strike Rescue Op

Quand la file d’attente ressemble plus a une migration de pingouins manchot sur la banquise, que tout le monde bouge en accordéon (façon la marche de l’empereur / ou micro-cosmos [le film avec des fourmi la]). Les files d’attentes sont l’endroit préféré des anthropologues.

When the queue resembles a penguin migration on the northern ice-cap. A little like the Emperor’s March or Micro-cosmos (the boredom-fest movie about ants walking through vegetation. Queues are a anthropologists best friend.

LCD Soundsystem – All My Friends

Sept minutes de pur bonheur auditif, tu peux t’évader, rêver, tout en pensant aux autres autour de toi et commencer à réfléchir comment tu va tourner ta thèse d’anthropologie ou ce que tu vas bien pouvoir te faire a bouffer ce soir. MULTI-TASK !

Seven minutes of pure eargasm, in which you can daydream, and escape reality. Maybe just concentrate on this anthropologic thesis you should start working on or simply think about what you could possibly eat once this ordeal is over. Multi-tasking is key here.

Out Of Time – Chris Farlowe

Tu reprends courage et tu te dit que finalement tu a le controle de la situation, tu lui (Sandrine) reproches de ne pas être là pour toi, de prendre une pause café pendant que tu l’attends, tu n’acceptes pas qu’elle te traite de la sorte tu la menace “You can’t come back and think you are still mine, My poor old fashioned baby I said baby, baby, baby, you’re out of time” ce que tu oublies c’est qu’elle s’en fou…c’est toi qui attendras…comme tout le monde.

You take your courage in both hands and tell yourself that you have the situation under control. You tell Sweaty Betty that she’s not helping taking a coffee break while you wait. That you will not put up with being treated like that and you threaten her by saying “You can’t come back and think you are still mine, My poor old fashioned baby I said baby, baby, baby, you’re out of time”. However you’ve forgotten that she doesn’t give a fiddlers fart. You’ll be waiting like every one else.

Reptile Youth – Speeddance

Le genre de chanson que tu aimes jouer quand tu sens que tu arrives près du guichet après une journée a mater Sandrine. Tu peux d’ailleurs lui faire quelques réflexions sur sa productivité tellement tu as eu le temps de la voir travailler. Marche aussi aux caisses du Monoprix ou a la préfecture de police pour sa carte d’identité.

The kind of tune you like playing when you can feel you’re getting close to the counter after spending the entire day with your eye on Sweaty Betty. You can even give her a bit of advice about her productivity since as you’ve spent so much time deciphering her every useless moves. Works wonders at a Tesco checkout or in line for your passport.

Crève Salope ! – Tepr

Tu fais chier Sandrine…

You’re getting on my ________ Sweaty Betty…

I’m On A Boat – Lonely Island

C’est FAIT ! Tu te sens comme un fou, tu a reussi et tu veux crier ta joie au monde, tu regarde ceux qui font encore la queue avec un air de défi, ils t’en veulent mais mais c’est pas grave” Take a picture, trick (trick) I’m on a boat, bitch “.

That’s it ! You’re in Seventh heaven, cloud nine, you’ve made it. And you want the world to know it, you cast a pitying glance back to the ones left still queueing, they hate your guts but you don’t give a flying crap : Take a picture, trick (trick) I’m on a boat, bitch “.

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Related Posts

Introducing: Malihini

Before you hear anything from this duo called Malihini, you'll be as intrigued as I was when I find out that this real life Italian couple made of Giampaolo Speziale and Federica Caiozzo are originally from Rome, have chosen a Hawaiian band name that means "Newcomer" and have recorded their upcoming album "Hopefully, Again" in the forgotten dreamscapes and beautiful back country that Wales

Introducing: Will Morgan

It’s sometimes hard to pinpoint what I come to like in artists’ material, what made me feel alive…